OPEYEMI OLULEYE

My name is Opeyemi Oluleye. I prefer to be identified as a Nigerian with multi-cultural affiliations. I am a Branding and Corporate Communication Consultant, leading Strategy at Geitwei Inc.

QUESTIONS:

1. How did you meet? What attracted you to each other?

Bukola and I have known each other for a while, say since 2010, because we attended the same church. However, we were just friends that later got to volunteer in the same Unit – Media Department. One thing I had always admired about her though is that she was different – unique way of thinking, living a quiet lifestyle, intelligent, beautiful, and a rare writer.

In 2014, we found ourselves in the same room, writing an application test to join the School of Media and Communication. It was a coincidence but we shared similar interest areas so we were happy to be pursuing the same degree. Fast forward to getting admitted and resuming (SMC was still at Victoria Island). She lived in Agungi and I lived in Ajah, so I would usually pick her up in the morning and drop her off in the evening – started off with her meeting me at her bus stop and dropping her off at her bus stop. Those moments, on days when there were no extra passengers, we would gist, laugh, tease each other, lament about school work, etc. These were the conversations that then strengthened the bond and even made me see her more beautiful than I was seeing in the past.

2. Were you in other serious relationships prior to your marriage?

My last relationship was in final year of my first degree (2010/2011); I was single until Bukola and I got together.

3. How long did you date? What was a typical date like?

The relationship officially began November 2014 – interestingly, at school we were thought to be siblings or cousins or distant relatives, and most still did not figure it out until after we got married – and we were in it for 3 years.

During our time at Pan-Atlantic University, I will say our typical dates were the moments we spent together – lunch in school, trip to school and back, a visit to her place and vice versa. Moments like this, I will mention that we shared dates with friends like David Ajikobi and Morolake Dairo (classmates) without them knowing.

4. When did you decide to get married?
   

    

For me, I would rather set my goal and work backward. The day I asked her out (I will leave that story for her to narrate) was the day I made the decision to marry her – it’s all in the head. However, it took me 2 years to actualize this journey. The conversation had longed moved from deciding to marry to my ability to pull a surprise on the day of the proposal.

December 2016, we traveled to Dubai for a friend’s wedding – the UAE government decided that I was going to Dubai to propose and not attend a wedding that I was the best man at because my visa came out a day after the wedding. On the day she was to return to Nigeria, my friend, Toyosi became a make-shift event planner. We waited for Bukola’s Uber to arrive and her luggage loaded into the boot. I then called her into the lobby of the hotel – this was around 2am or so – and a few inches away from a humongous Christmas tree, I went on my knees and pulled out the ring. What would Bukola do? She ran away, as in took off. Who does that? Her friends ran after her and brought her back. I then said, “Will you marry me?”, then whispered, “You better say yes”.

5. What do you do together for fun?

It took us a while to figure out how to have fun together, and this is because we are two very different people. But things are different now. We joke and laugh together. We discuss people, ideas, thought processes, and other matters that arise.

6. Describe each of your roles in the relationship. How did you come to have these roles?

Our roles are quite unique, as a couple, from the generally accepted standard. We have grown to support each other at all levels so that we do not have one person carrying the burden 100%. We learnt to do this by desiring to do things together, and this involves spiritual, financial, domestic, and social roles.

7. What are your biggest arguments about in your relationship?

Negligence. I have a bad habit for either forgetting to do something or storing information given me by her in a long-term memory. When it is time to pull out these information and I drop the ball, an argument becomes inevitable.

8. Do you have children? If you do, how has having children
   

   changed your marriage?

Yes we do. Oreoluwa is 2 years old now and has been a great catalyst to change in the family. The little man is living his best life yet and really doesn’t have worries because Daddy and Mummy should know what to do, and this is the definition of change in the marriage.

For every movement, every naira, every decision, Oreoluwa has to be considered. This, friends, is inevitable change that cannot be reversed.

9. Describe your job. How does your work responsibilities impact your family life?

I am a Media and Communications consultant. Until now, I worked with an Education Development organization as a Communication and Knowledge Management Lead. My office was in Ilupeju and so I would spend the entire day out of the house and return home tired. This clearly took a toll on my family because I was not available.

The pandemic eased things a bit because we got to work from home fully. It was also during this period that I began to find time to do spend with the family.

Right now I am transiting to full-time consultancy, working with my wife. Our work is focused on using storytelling to grow brands. We had started a company about 3 years ago but she was the only one running it. Since we function in the same field, it is easier to execute projects and still have time to grow the home.

10. What is the biggest strength of your relationship?

I think it is the willingness to align despite our multiple differences. This means that we have grown to make efforts in ensuring that we both are not just existing as partners but growing as a family unit.

11. What does love mean to you?

Love has taken a new meaning for me. You will probably never hear me give you Oxford Learner’s Dictionary definition of love again. Now, love means value exchange. I ensure that I am of value to someone, not expecting anything in return.

OLUBUKOLA OLULEYE

My name is Olubukola Oluleye. I am a Writer, Editor, Content Curator and Management consultant.

QUESTIONS:

1. How did you meet? What attracted you to each other?

We met in church, in a group of other friends. I don’t remember our earliest interactions, but I remember thinking he was stubborn. We knew of each other before we started speaking to each other. What drew me to him was the way he carried himself – like a person of substance. PAU brought us closer together, of course. We spend a lot of time together because we went to school together, we were in the same course stream, and we went home from school together.

2. Were you in other serious relationships prior to your marriage?

Before Ope, I had only been in one other relationship. I didn’t really have the courage to date multiple times.

3. How long did you date? What was a typical date like?We dated for about three (3) years. We didn’t go out much because some of the time, we were in school (PAU), and the rest of the time, we worked on opposite ends of Lagos.

4. When did you decide to get married?
   

    

We got engaged in December 2016. Funny story – I ran away when he proposed.

5. What do you do together for fun?

For fun, we try different meals or make fun of each other’s palate, we watch movies, listen to old music together, or have general discussions about human nature.

6. Describe each of your roles in the relationship. How did you come to have these roles?

I’m not sure we have strictly defined roles; I think we just find ways to complement each other where there is a need. If one person can’t do something right now, the other person does. If one person can’t be one thing right now, the other person is. We’re figuring out our rhythm as we grow.

7. What are your biggest arguments about in your relationship?

Many of our arguments center around our different temperaments/personalities. Sometimes, I like things done a certain way and he likes them done the opposite way.

8. Do you have children? If you do, how has having children changed your marriage?

We have a son. His addition to us has made us both grow, I believe. We understand each other better, and every day we get a better sense of the responsibility on our hands. We frame his first views (which will likely last longer than many others) of life and human relationships, so it’s on us to model kindness and humanity the best way we know.

9. Describe your job. How does your work responsibilities impact your family life?

I work as a writer/editor half the time. The rest of the time, I’m on a product development and partnerships management team. My work schedule is pretty hectic, and that means that I’ve had to be more deliberate about creating work-life boundaries, setting aside time to rest, and time to be a family. I don’t always do it right, but I try. Ope and I also work together on a lot of things, so we’re in constant communication.

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  What is the biggest strength of your relationship?

I think our biggest strengths are our determination to work hard on our relationship, and our willingness to find joy in little things. We both love to laugh.

• What does love mean to you?

That’s a big question. I don’t think I have one definition that encapsulates everything I think about love. But I will say that love is attentiveness. It is deliberate kindness and service. Feelings of deep care and adoration are the cherry on the top.